How did that happen? I don’t think I’ve ever not screwed up something for eight years straight. I am pleased to say that I’m celebrating eight years of sobriety next week. Figured I would post here tonight as, well, you know, I haven’t been too cool about blogging about my sobriety experience. I created this site back in March of 2010 with the intent to blog about my journey. I think I’ve created 17 posts in that time. Ha! Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a procrastinator…
So, how did I manage eight years? It all began with a meeting. And then a meeting every day for 90 days. And then a few years of meetings several times a week. And then a meeting every Saturday and Sunday for a few years. In all of this I began to find other things to do with my life. You know, when you quit drinking, you’ve got a LOT of free time to fill. I filled that time by becoming involved in my children’s lives – thankfully there was still time to do that. My daughter is off in college now – completing her sophomore year. Straight A kid – can’t complain about that. My son is a junior in high school and is getting ready to start thinking about the college experience. I couldn’t be more pleased with both of ’em – and super thankful that I had time to do things with my kids. I became involved in the Boy Scout program with my son when he was in 1st grade. I got really involved when he was in 3rd grade – 8 years ago. I spent many an hour volunteering and camping, hiking, fishing, climbing, enjoying campfires, and learning how to do things the Scouting way. In fact, I’d say that I got to have many of those experiences that I missed as a kid. I wouldn’t trade those experiences for the world.
Along the way I changed jobs – something that was a long-time coming, and helped to recreate my life. Sometimes a change is a good thing – in the case of us drunks, it’s almost a required thing. So, what’s next? Well, we live in the Chicago area and deal with the snow, the crazy taxes, the screwed up laws/government, and all that. We’re going to move down to coastal South Carolina when my son graduates from high school and goes off to college. In fact, we’ll probably buy a house down there this summer and will spend the next year or so in getting it setup just right. It’ll be hard to move from where we are today – we’ve lived in the Chicago area since 2000 – it’ll be 19 years when we finally pull up stakes and get the hell out of here. Most everyone I know that is my age (53), and in the same place in life (kids going off to college) simply can’t wait to get out of Illinois. While I won’t be retiring just yet, we’ll be thinking about how to enjoy our lives and, you know, doing that in a place that’s a lot more enjoyable than where we are today. My wife, who has put up with my stupid shit for 25 years this spring, is all set to go as well. She grew up in Illinois and while I never was really sure she’d agree to move away, she’s pretty excited about starting the next phase of our lives.
So, how have I made it work? Still One Day at a Time. ODAT. I don’t attend meetings all that much any longer, yet I practice the 12 Steps every day. It’s made my life about a million times better than how I had been living. So if AA is so great, why did I stop with the meetings? I had migrated from daily to weekly to weekend meetings and then my weekends got full with Scouting. I’ve done something or another that is Scouting related for most weekends over the last eight years. It’s given me a purpose, helped me to do good things, and made my life a hell of a lot better than it had been. In fact, I’m thinking through how I’ll continue my experiences with Scouting once my son “ages out” – which is something that a young man does when he turns 18. My son will be 18 in about three and a half months. Wow!
So… this isn’t the end. I’ll always be an alcoholic. I still think through those little warning bells when I hear myself say, “Hey, maybe I can have a drink one day… you know, when I don’t have all those same family responsibilities…” Heaven forbid that ever happens. I do anticipate becoming more involved in AA when we land our our new location in South Carolina. I’ve said this before, I was exceptionally fortunate to run into the group of guys at my local home group – they saved me. Each group is different, of course, they all have a different feel. I’m optimistic that I’ll find the same kind of group in the new place – and will do what I can to help those new to the program. By the way, I still view myself as a “newbie” when it comes to AA. So many of my heros are guys that have 20, 25, 30 years in the program.
I talk above how getting involved with my family, getting a new job, and how getting involved with Scouting changed my life. No doubt about it, that’s all true. But what saved me is AA. For sure.
God does work in mysterious ways. I’ll be back – thanks for reading.
dan